The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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