If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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