Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
