What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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