how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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