well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
