Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize