Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
