oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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