you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
