haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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