i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
