By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
