Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
