Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
