Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
