is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
