she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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