come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
