A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
