i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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