after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
