That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
