Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
