Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize