I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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