you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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