I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
