The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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