He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
