Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
