he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize