You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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