he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
