The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Come see our sink grown plant.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
