11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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