id be glad to
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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