Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
