at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
