I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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