i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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