I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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