If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
