So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize