Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
