You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
