Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
