some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize