So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
