when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
