I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
