Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
