Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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