there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
