so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
