3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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