Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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