My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
