They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
