hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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