Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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