I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
