Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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