Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
