hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize