We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize