Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
