Non-Jews are for practice
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The power of my boobs compel you
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
