I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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