why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
