also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
