Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
