idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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